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The Daily Insight

How do I get over my husband saying hurtful things?

Author

Rachel Hernandez

Updated on April 27, 2026

My Husband Said Hurtful Things I Can't Get Over: How To Get Over Hurtful Words From Your Husband
  1. Do some calming exercise.
  2. Write down your thoughts.
  3. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes.
  4. Think positive.
  5. Be grateful.
  6. Take your time.
  7. Pay Close Attention Here-

Hereof, what do you do when your husband says hurtful things?

Path to forgive your husband for saying hurtful things Whether it was intentional or not, if you feel hurt, accept it and validate it. Engaging in a hurtful exchange won't solve anything, it will only make things worse. Instead, write in a diary, talk to a friend, or do something productive until you feel calm again.

Also, why do husbands say hurtful things? “It's especially hurtful because it implies that your partner is to blame for every undesirable thing that's happened in your life since you first met,” he said. “It suggests the bad far outweighs the good in your life together and that it's all your spouse's fault.”

Subsequently, one may also ask, how do you get over hurtful words?

Set a timer to stew. Rather than dwelling on the hurtful words others say to you, give yourself a deadline to stew them over. Feel the hurt for a designated amount of time. Then, choose to let them go. For example, you might usually spend hours or even days mulling over these comments.

How do I get over hurtful words from my wife?

4 Steps to Healing Hurtful Words From Your Spouse

  1. Hold your response. It is too easy to fire back when your spouse says something hurtful to you.
  2. Revisit the comment in a time of non-conflict.
  3. Find out what was behind the hurtful words.
  4. Be open to more hurt.

Related Question Answers

What Husbands should not say to their wives?

Here are 14 phrases good husbands never say to their wives:
  • “You don't make me happy.”
  • “I never thought we'd be married this long.”
  • “You've changed.”
  • “________'s wife allows him to _______.”
  • “If you really love me, you'd _______.”
  • “You knew how I was when we first met.”
  • “No.
  • “I'm only with you for the kids.”

Why do husbands belittle their wives?

Some men belittle their wives, some wives belittle their husbands. It's possible the belittling is a learned behavior - it's what the man saw his father do to his mother - and once he realizes it he'll work to stop it. Or not. If he doesn't stop…then you have to ask yourself if you're better off with or without him.

How do I forgive my husband for past mistakes?

Here are seven ways forgiveness can transform your marriage.
  1. Write down three ways negative emotions have impacted (or are still impacting) your marriage.
  2. Find a way to dislodge yourself from negative emotions.
  3. Take small steps to repair and let go of grudges.
  4. Accept responsibility for your part in the interaction.

How do I forgive my husband betrayal?

How to Ask for Forgiveness
  1. Show true contrition and remorse for the pain that you've caused.
  2. Be willing to make a commitment to not hurt your partner again by repeating the hurtful behavior.
  3. Accept the consequences of the action that created the hurt.
  4. Be open to making amends.
  5. Be patient with your partner.

Why do loved ones say hurtful things?

This attribution is a double-edged sword: It helps people feel less personally vulnerable, but it can also make them less compassionate. They're just saying what they think they're supposed to say. Often well-meaning people say hurtful things because they're at a loss for words.

What are the most hurtful words?

Common Words We Use That Hurt Others
  1. “Gay” This word doesn't mean 'happy' anymore.
  2. “Retarded”
  3. “It was just a joke”
  4. “Never mind, you don't get it”
  5. “This makes me want to kill myself”
  6. “I feel so bipolar today”
  7. “You're adopted”
  8. “You_____like a girl”

Is it OK to ignore someone who hurt you?

If they are okay with hurting you and blow it off, you need to be able to escalate that to the next level. But simply ignoring them is only prolonging the inevitable. Stand up for yourself and speak your feelings. But don't be mean or rude as you do it.

How is no response a powerful response?

No response is a powerful response when it's filling the place of an I Told You So. You already said what you had to. Your silence and just looking at them shows, the person was warned but chose not to listen. Silence is also powerful when the situation is so good or so bad, words aren't needed.

What to say to someone who has hurt you deeply?

“I'm sorry you don't feel good about yourself — people who feel good about themselves are nice, not hurtful or vengeful. I know that hurt people hurt people, so I don't take it personally. I hope you find the happiness and inner peace you deserve.”

What should you not say to your spouse?

Here are 10 things to be careful to never say to your spouse:
  • “You're crazy.”
  • Nothing.
  • “It's your fault.”
  • “You always….” or “You never…”
  • “Just be nicer/better,” or any other vague request.
  • “The word “divorce” said in anger/during a fight.

How do you forgive someone who says hurtful things?

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You: In 15 Steps
  1. Step 1: Move On to the Next Act.
  2. Step 2: Reconnect to Spirit.
  3. Step 3: Don't Go to Sleep Angry.
  4. Step 4: Switch the Focus from Blaming Others to Understanding Yourself.
  5. Step 5: Avoid Telling People What to Do.
  6. Step 6: Learn to Let Go and Be Like Water.
  7. Step 7: Take Responsibility for Your Part.
  8. Step 8: Let Go of Resentments.

How do you tell someone off that hurt you?

How To Tell Someone They've Hurt You Without Making Them Get Defensive
  1. Choose Your Words Carefully.
  2. Be Prepared For All Outcomes.
  3. Write A Letter — But Don't Always Send It.
  4. Use "I Feel" Statements.
  5. Express Positives With Your Negatives.
  6. Be Specific.
  7. Make Sure You're Aware Of Your Own Motivations.

How do you know when your marriage is over?

Your relationship leaves you constantly feeling drained. Even if you're not constantly fighting, that doesn't mean your relationship can't leave you feeling utterly depleted. If every second you spend with your spouse makes you feel emotionally and physically drained, that's one of the signs your marriage is over.

What do you do when your husband refuses to communicate?

What To Do When You Can't Communicate With Your Partner
  1. Try. harder to get your point across, talking louder or faster?
  2. Get. angry, shouting to intimidate the other person into hearing you and/or.
  3. Cry in. frustration?
  4. Feel. resigned, give in and just listen quietly to the other person?
  5. Walk.
  6. Grab a.
  7. Turn.
  8. Ruminate.

What does it mean when a man says the wife instead of my wife?

The wife alludes to the generic idea of a wife rather than a specific person. It's a good phrase to use if what you are trying to say might apply to wives in general rather than just your wife or the wife of someone present. For example, 'If you're coming to my party, you can bring along the wife.

What a husband should not do?

  • #1 — Never criticize, demean or humiliate her.
  • #2 — Never withhold positive comments.
  • #3 — Never stop being a gentleman.
  • #4 — Never stop showing your wife the ways that you love her.
  • #5 — Never betray her or be disloyal.
  • #6 — Never say the D word.
  • #7 — Never miss a chance to celebrate you and her.